Space-Saver Steed

Everything you need, nothing you don’t

Horses are great. They're beautiful, majestic, and a loyal companion through thick and thin. But there's just one problem: they're too dang long. For thousands of years, mankind has struggled to cope with the absurd length of this animal, even going so far as to construct enormous horse-houses, or "barns" to contain the unwieldy beasts.

We're happy to report that the night"mare" is finally over, thanks to the brilliant genetic engineers at Splice & Dice™, who have created the world's first two-legged horse! Even a one-bedroom apartment has enough space for this pocket-sized palomino, which takes up no more room than an ordinary person. It eats half the food, makes half the mess, and still offers all the joy of horse ownership. You can even ride it, if you're not too heavy and your sense of balance is pretty good. And when it's time to hit the road, you can forget the horse-trailer; just buckle it into the passenger seat of your car.

We don't want to nag you, but supplies are limited, so buy now, before this offer rides off into the sunset.

Two-Legged Horse

$2.999.99